Beyond the Bar Fight with Advisors: Holiday hopes for reverse mortgage conversations.

It was a typical zoom call, Hank and I were on with a group of loan officers and leaders asking us questions.  They wanted ideas around engaging financial professionals on the topic of lending strategies in retirement planning.  These are great calls for us; they get to ask anything, we get to share what we’ve learned over 25 years as advisors, we can share observations about the lending industry, and they all seem to walk away with valuable insights.  And for those that don’t know Hank, he has an arsenal of metaphors that paint vivid pictures. 

On this occasion, we were asked,

“What’s different today than it was seven years ago when you first started reaching out to financial advisors?  Has it gotten better? Is it the same?”   

In Hank’s words,

“Seven years ago, every interaction with an advisor was like walking into a bar fight…”  

Hank went on to elaborate on the changes we’ve seen, but I couldn’t stop chuckling or get the image of the bar fight out of my mind!  For those that have found themselves in a bar fight, or at least seen one in a movie, things can get ugly and for the most part everyone is fighting for no good reason other than there’s a fight to be had.  Not a lot of listening or seeking understanding in a bar fight! 

Here's the funny (not funny?) reality of what we’ve seen.  Seven years ago, talking to financial advisors about reverse mortgages felt like stepping into a bar fight. You’d bring up the topic, and immediately, defenses would go up.  Many voices got louder, egos took center stage, and everyone seemed more intent on proving their point than understanding anyone else’s.

For reverse mortgage professionals, it was exhausting. You could walk into these conversations armed with research and good intentions, only to face a barrage of skepticism and pushback. Advisors often saw reverse mortgages as a threat to their strategies, a “last resort” for struggling clients, or simply not the people they serve. The room may as well have been filled with flying chairs and broken bottles—the intellectual equivalent of an all-out brawl.

However, on the flip side, from our observations, times have changed. Today, those heated debates are giving way to something far more collaborative. The bar fight has been replaced with something a little nicer.  For the of the analogy, let’s call it a house party.

From Brawling to Mingling

These days, when reverse mortgage professionals enter conversations with advisors, the atmosphere is much more inviting. The house party analogy seems to work: there’s a mix of familiar faces and new ones, lively conversation, and a sense of openness that didn’t exist before.  Where there was resistance, we’re finding curiosity.

Advisors are no longer shutting the door on the reverse mortgage conversation. They’ve seen the research, the real-world applications, and the ways these tools can complement financial planning. Many are genuinely curious and want to learn more, especially as they look for ways to help clients navigate retirement challenges.

But like any good house party—especially during the holiday season—you still need to show up prepared. Advisors won’t automatically gravitate toward you unless you bring value, communicate effectively, and make a positive impression. The room may be friendlier now, but you still have to be a guest worth talking to.

What Hasn’t Changed?

Even in this more collaborative environment, the fundamentals remain the same. If you want to leave the party with new connections and potential partnerships, you need to:

1. Be Referable

At a house party, no one wants to introduce a friend who might embarrass them. Similarly, advisors won’t refer clients to someone who isn’t polished, knowledgeable, and professional. You need to demonstrate that you understand the financial planning process and how reverse mortgages can enhance—not disrupt—a comprehensive retirement strategy.

2. Read the Room

At any gathering, some people are eager to chat while others hang back. The same goes for advisors. Some are already familiar with reverse mortgages and want to dive into the details; others are cautiously curious. Tailor your approach to meet them where they are.  The conversation with someone resistant to reverse mortgages is far different than with someone who already sees the benefit and application.  

3. Bring Something of Value

Just as you wouldn’t show up to a party empty-handed, come to the conversation with insights and resources. Share examples of how reverse mortgages have helped clients achieve their goals or offer tools advisors can use to better understand the product. Or more importantly, bring something of value that will benefit the advisor!

4. Be Memorable

The best guests leave a positive impression—whether it’s through a great story, a thoughtful gesture, or simply being someone easy to talk to. As a reverse mortgage professional, you need to stand out in a crowded industry. Be approachable, helpful, and collaborative.  Listen well, learn about them, serve them, then grow together.

Tis the Season for Connection

As we enter the holiday season, this analogy becomes even more fitting. Hopefully we don’t find ourselves in too many bar fights, but perhaps we do end up at a few holiday parties.  Conversations with advisors during this time should feel more like holiday parties: warm, welcoming, and full of opportunities to make meaningful connections. But just like at a holiday party, your success depends on how well you show up.

The Bottom Line

The shift from the bar fight to the house party is a testament to how much the reverse mortgage conversation has evolved. Today, advisors are far more open to understanding how housing wealth fits into retirement planning. In fact, for advisors, we're approaching the time when they will need to get on board or be left behind.  The math is real and they will greatly benefit from knowing their way around the conversation.  The opportunity to connect is greater than ever, but the responsibility to show up ready is just as important.

This holiday season, think of yourself as a guest at the party. Be professional, personable, and prepared to bring value to the table. If you do, you’ll find that these conversations can lead to stronger relationships, better understanding, and opportunities to make a real difference for advisors and the families they serve.

Want the skills and resources to expand your business with financial professionals?  Come hang out with us at the Equity Wealth Academy.  (www.EquityWealthAcademy.com)