The Simple Way to Destroy a Referral Relationship

"I sent you a client, then never heard from you.  What the heck?!" 

It’s happened more than a few times.  I’m working with a new strategic partner; we’ve discussed our business models, concerns, expectations, and are excited to introduce clients and do more together.  The opportunity arises, I make the introduction, we meet jointly with the new client, they say yes, and hooray, it worked!  But then things get weird…

I know an application was taken and they are starting the loan process.  I also know it takes a while to get things done.  But along the way, I have no idea what’s going on in the process. No one has bothered to communicate status or updates.  Then comes the worst part…

When I get a call from MY client, asking a question about the loan that doesn’t seem to make sense, could be a fee, a low appraisal, something they were told by the loan officer I introduced them to, but I have no idea what they are talking about because I haven’t been kept in the loop in the process. My only option is to take the side of my client and let them know I’ll reach out, get to the bottom of the problem, and fix it. Truth be told, this in one of the greatest frustrations that is likely to lead to a major loss of trust and the end of a productive relationship. 

So, here’s the skinny:

Stop Being Lazy and Build Your Business!

If you're dropping the ball on keeping your referral partners in the loop, you’re sabotaging your own business. You go through the work to connect with an advisor, you build trust, you finally get a reverse mortgage referral, then your promptly destroy it in one single event, only because you failed to make the minimal effort.  Financial advisors, attorneys, tax professionals, they don’t just throw referrals your way for fun, out of curiosity, or to test you. Their clients are the life blood of their business. For most, they have extensive and long term relationships.  They trust you to handle their clients with care, compassion, knowledge, and professionalism. And if you ghost them after the handoff? Bid farewell to any future business, because they’ll find someone who actually knows how to communicate. Or more importantly, has a repeatable process for communication. 

Referral Partner Engagement is Basic Table Stakes

1. Strengthens Trust and Credibility

   If you think financial professionals will keep referring clients to you while you stay silent, hidden behind a mysterious curtain, think again. They’re staking their reputation on YOU. So, if you keep them in the dark, they’ll ditch you faster than their last bad stock pick. Keep them informed, show them you’re reliable, and make them look good for sending business your way. 

2. Makes the Client Experience Less of a Nightmare

   Ever had a referral partner call you in a panic because they have no idea where their client stands in the process? That’s on you. These professionals need to advise their clients properly, and they can’t do that if you’re keeping secrets. Give them regular updates so they can do their job while you do yours.

3. Encourages More Referrals (Because... Duh)

   Think of it this way: if you actually make their life easier, they’ll send you more business. If you make them chase you down for updates or explanations, they’ll move on to someone who doesn’t make them suffer. Want more introductions? Become proactive and user-friendly.  Your business is already shady enough in their minds, don’t reinforce that perspective with lack of transparency and communication.  If they don’t know a reason for something, they will make one up, one that is usually far worse than reality.    

4. Prevents Dumb Miscommunication

   If you like dealing with angry clients, confused advisors, and last-minute fire drills, by all means, maintain your silence. But if you’d rather have a smooth process with zero surprises, keep everyone in the loop. As mentioned earlier, there’s very little worse than being caught off guard with bad news from a client that should have come from you.  And there’s very little that can be done to defend you. Effective strategic relationships aren’t two individuals operating on their own professional islands, it’s a team sport. And a system for communication isn’t for the wildly successful, it’s just basic etiquette and common curtesy.

5. Positions You as a Referable Professional, Not Just Another Loan Officer Trying to Get to Their Clients

   Want to stand out from the sea of mediocre loan officers? Be the one who acts like part of the client’s financial team. Financial professionals appreciate pros who collaborate, not those who disappear. Stay in touch, provide value, and you’ll be the one they call first.  The good news in all of this is that if most people were doing this, we wouldn’t have to write this article.  But they aren’t.  Most settle for mediocrity, and some are very successful in spite of that.  This doesn’t need to be you.  Professionalism is not difficult, but it does take effort.

How to Stop Being a Ghost and Start Communicating

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1. Set Expectations from Day One

   When you start working with a new referral partner, ask them how they prefer updates. Some want a quick email. Others like a phone call. Figure it out and stick to it.

2. Give Updates at Key Milestones

   Keep them informed at the big moments, like:

• Pre-approval status

• Application submission

• Any major issues or hiccups

• Loan approval

• Closing, with a recap of how the mortgage fits their client’s financial goals

• Follow up a few months after closing to get feedback and determine what could have been better.  This should be with both the client and your professional partners.

3. Use Professional Communication Channels (not whenever you think of it)

   Secure emails, quick calls, even automated CRM updates, just pick a method that works and use it consistently. And for the love of your business growth, don’t make them dig or even ask for updates.

4. Stay on Their Radar (Without Being Annoying)

   We’ve all heard the phrase, “out of sight, out of mind…” There’s truth in this, especially with new relationships.  You haven’t yet been made part of their daily habits.  Even if there’s no active loan in progress, touch base periodically. A quick check-in, a useful industry insight, an article, or even an interesting newsletter keeps you top of mind.

5. Deliver More Value Than Just Loan Updates

   Don’t just hit them with dry status reports. Share market insights, industry trends, and strategic ideas that help them better serve their clients. In addition to industry topics, share stories, client cases, things you are doing in the community, become human!  (Business hack, we share these regularly in the EWA Community and make it easy for you to share them!)  If you’re only reaching out when you need something, you’re a parasite. Instead, be a pollinator.

Final Warning: Fix This or Lose Business

If you’re serious about growing your referral business, then step up your game. After all, if you go through all the work of guiding a professional partner from concerned about a reverse mortgage, to believing in it, then to introducing you to a client, you’ve traveled a great distance!  Don’t mess that up and have to start all over with someone new!

Keep your partners informed, make their lives easier, and build authentic trust. And don’t just wing it, determine how you will automate your communication process.  Most CRMs have this capability, support teams can help, or even sticky notes if you’re of that style.  (For the record, I still love my sticky notes!)  If you don’t fix this in your business, they’ll find someone who will. It’s that simple.

Do you want to learn how top loan officers build powerful and lasting professional relationships, visit the Equity Wealth Academy and join our EWA Community for exclusive resources and meaningful relationships!

Now go follow up with your referral partners before they get offended or forget you exist!